I Hate to Complain but...

You I hate to be a complainer and it is something I don't want to make a habit of but I have to say that sometimes it is so annoying being a female. Any men reading this are forewarned. You might want to stop reading now if talking about the female body functioning is not for you.
Anyway...

It gets so annoying to wake up twenty minutes before your alarm in such terrible cramping. Can't it just wait twenty more minutes? At least give me that. You get up to realize that another pain of garments are ruined. You realize this is not going to be your favorite morning. If you are like me, you are impatient with medicine. I take 800 miligrams of IBProfen (spelling?) and within ten minutes it is not working quick enough so I take another 800 miligrams. I get tempted to take another 800 miligrams after another ten minutes but I usually get stopped by the nearest person. So after being woken up and realizing there is another pair of underwear ruined I then get to deal with the pain. (I haven't even mentioned the pain that comes before I start. My breasts get so tender I can't even run on the treadmill).

However, though this scenario is annoying, it is better than what the alternative could be. It could be that I am in Florida with a boy I am interested in and we are standing on the tarmack of the airport watching the air show. There is not a bathroom in site. I am wearing white shorts and I get the ever dreadful feeling of "I need to find a bathroom and stat." His house is an hour away and he is not with it enough to understand what it means when I tell him we need to find a bathroom. He says he will stop at one but then never does. I am just concentrating on keeping my legs crossed tightly (like that helps). Not only that, but he decides we need to stop at the grocery store to pick up some ice cream. An hour and a half later you finally get home and walk non chalantly to the bathroom. "Houston we've had a problem". I spend probably twenty minutes in the bathroom trying to get everything back to normal. That includes using fingernail clippers to cut your garments because they just need to be thrown away. I come out of the bathroom and am asked "Are you okay?'' I just nod my head because men just don't understand the constant fear of the unpredictable dear aunt that likes to visit at inopportune times.
Anyway, my complaining is now over. The IBProfen kicks in and we are semi back to normal. Give it a couple of days and we will be functioning without fear again.